im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
