Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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