I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
