I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize