she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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