Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
no more duck duck goose at the bar
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
