just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
