Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
