i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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