So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
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we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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