I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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