I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize