His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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