For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
