No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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