I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
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i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
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My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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