The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
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Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
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I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize