p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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