either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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