operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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