D3 body, D1 cock
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
