he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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