Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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