I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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