You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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