singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
