Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
