I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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