I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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