i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
