I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
