I can tuck mytits in my pants
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
