i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
