Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...

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(313): Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends... http://tfl.nu/38n2

Replies (15) Good night (1690) Bad night (818)
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(248): View more from Michigan

My bottle opener just broke off in the cork

(248): View more from Michigan

They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts

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(248): My bottle opener just broke off in the cork (248): They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts http://tfl.nu/wcrk

Replies (5) Good night (873) Bad night (1133)
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(719): View more from Colorado

wanna go halves on a baby?

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(719): wanna go halves on a baby? http://tfl.nu/z3oe

Replies (18) Good night (1330) Bad night (1076)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you

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(803): I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you http://tfl.nu/rx95

Replies (11) Good night (1353) Bad night (878)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.

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(304): I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator. http://tfl.nu/x5we

Replies (18) Good night (2937) Bad night (751)
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(251): View more from Alabama

Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.

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(251): Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again. http://tfl.nu/n3jw

Replies (33) Good night (3517) Bad night (1193)
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(317): View more from Indiana

You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.

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(317): You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour. http://tfl.nu/7a2s

Replies (4) Good night (3136) Bad night (755)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Guess what happened to me today at work?

(1-734): View more from Michigan

I have chlamydia. What happened.

(734): View more from Michigan

Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.

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(734): Guess what happened to me today at work? (1-734): I have chlamydia. What happened. (734): Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second. http://tfl.nu/rf53

Replies (11) Good night (2756) Bad night (1412)
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(214): View more from Texas

How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.

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(214): How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk. http://tfl.nu/tw8m

Replies (4) Good night (503) Bad night (977)
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(407): View more from Florida

I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"

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(407): I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry" http://tfl.nu/fy98

Replies (4) Good night (626) Bad night (1233)
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(425): View more from Washington

'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.

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(425): 'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight. http://tfl.nu/r78k

Replies (6) Good night (959) Bad night (459)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.

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(570): I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night. http://tfl.nu/0a56

Replies (8) Good night (1622) Bad night (386)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?

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(603): Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going? http://tfl.nu/54en

Replies (3) Good night (230) Bad night (536)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."

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(410): I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions." http://tfl.nu/l1g1

Replies (0) Good night (438) Bad night (218)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job

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(410): Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job http://tfl.nu/zapx

Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (260)

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