Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.

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(214): View more from Texas

And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit

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(612): View more from Minnesota

a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm

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(312): View more from Illinois

I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm off the liquor

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick

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(801): View more from Utah

If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.

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