Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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