Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
