we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
there is glitter all over my balls
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
