Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize