You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
