i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
