I hate all girls vehemently.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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