She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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