no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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