Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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