Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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