Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
