He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
