Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
