So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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