I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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