Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
