Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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