Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
