in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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