I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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