I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
