you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
