Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
