sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
