But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
