So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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